Fashion can be unpredictable, but not more so than the fashion of video games. One Summer, you’re enjoying yet another tactical Search and Destroy on Wet Work, then before you know it you’re longing to shred endless waves of zombies. Fast forward almost a decade, however, where the impact of one game mode – namely, Battle Royale – has been so nuclear, other genres are an apocalyptic wasteland in comparison.
This got me thinking. What other games really don’t need this game mode, but would be hilarious to experience? Here’s seven games that totally need a touch of Battle Royale. But before we begin, just one quick question: where we dropping, boiz?
1) The Sims (Or, how I learned to stop worrying and love Battle Royale modes)
Electronic Arts need to get with the times. Despite five Guinness World Records, a blown film opportunity and 200 million sales worldwide, who wants to waste tens of hours nurturing a virtual family? We always end up sending them to a watery grave through a ladder-less swimming pool anyway. No, what this series needs is a large open map. And just imagine the tension in this survival of the strongest bladder! Locked in a giant hall with no doors, a hundred players must battle the elements which consist of a dangerous toaster and a fireplace on a rug. There will be burnt toast, unexplained hook-ups and glitchy babies that for some reason come out green. Sign me up.
2) Dark Souls – Praise the Royale Sun
This one kills two birds with one stone. From Software’s bestselling series has a reputation for having a toxic fanbase, with many newbies taking to forums for advice and being met with the iconic “git gud, scrub”. What’s more, players are already used to not having a pause button, so let the community battle it out to determine the best roll spammer fighter. We could even go one further and give it the true Dark Souls treatment. What if dying actually killed off your character for good? Now that’s suspense.
3) Pokémon GO-Royale!
No, I’m not on drugs. Just so high on my love for parachuting out of flying buses and looting homes for Boogie Bombs that I want to do it in real life, too. Failing that, augmented reality. Niantic’s mobile incarnation of our beloved pocket monsters was ground-breaking on its 2016 launch but has recently fallen out of favour. It has its loyal player base, sure, but if it raised the bar before, it can do it again. Why not make Pokémon spawns limited? This will add a dose of urgency to catching them all. What’s that, this time tomorrow will see a Mew spawning in Japan, good for only ONE catch? Better book my flight! To hell with it, I’m jumping out the plane, landing in the park and body slamming the nearest player – gimmie dat Mew.
4) Supersonic Acrobatic Battle Car Royale
The spiritual successor to Supersonic Acrobatic Rocket Powered Battle Cars (yes, seriously), Rocket League’s success was inescapable on launch in 2015. Think of Fortnite’s popularity on a smaller but still influential scale.
Either way, Rocket League was praised for its skill-based, addictive team gameplay and, free for PS Plus members, was all many spent their summer playing. Three years down the line sees it still going strong while enjoying a thriving e-sports scene, but the lack of chaos is concerning. I propose two teams of fifty battle it out. A true test for goalies, missing that clutch shot will lead to the “What a save!” quick comm sent your way 99 times. As if wasn’t already! Chat disabled.
5) NBA 2K – Dodgeball Royale
With the 20th instalment in Visual Concepts bestselling series fast approaching, we’re not sure what the National Basketball Association will have to say about a 100 man free-for-all. Would 2K18 cover man Kyrie Irving be sceptical, too? Perhaps so, that is until he grows tired of modes like MyGM, MyCareer and MyLeague. Let’s bring MyRoyale to the table. Expect Airballs, failed Bank Shots and Double Dribbles aplenty in this ultimate showdown for your career character. Because what this game needs is an unofficial Dodgeball mode. Strictly no Backdoor shots.
6) Lego Royale – because we can
Let’s face it, the series had it coming! Back in 2005, I put countless hours into Lego Star Wars: The Video Game but grew out of smashing Lego Stormtroopers in favour of mindlessly chopping Yew Trees on Runescape. It wasn’t until 2015 when my cousin, fuelled by pizza and prosecco, introduced me to Lego Dimensions. Physically constructing the Batmobile, TARDIS and DeLorean to insert them into the game via the toy pad might be what the Battle Royale genre needs. May I present Lego Fortnite? Players must gather Lego to build a range of weapons and gadgets on a map where everything is a material. It’s close enough already.
7) Hitman Royale
Finishing off this list is the slow-burning suspense of playing a game of Hitman. I’ve always been a fan of sneaking in unnoticed, eliminating the target, and sneaking out again. Now imagine that on a grander scale. The Definitive Edition was released this week but with it came not a single mention of Battle Royale. This madness has to change. What do we need? 47 Agent 47s (you should’ve seen that one coming) trying to assassinate the same target. Because we’re totally sure the NPC security guard won’t realise they’ve let 23 postman into the building in the past five minutes…