Super Smash Bros. is a cult classic at this point: Melee inspired a generation of young fighting game fans in the early 2000’s. Now with Smash Ultimate, we’re seeing a new generation of players and professionals come through, but one thing I feel Ultimate is missing in the current day, where gaming is merging so cleanly with pop culture and the real world, is the possibility of playing as real people. Actors and actresses, musicians, professional sportsmen and women.
I realised I wasn’t the only one feeling this way when a tweet went viral, in which the poster created a petition (which was, of course, rejected) to “Make John Bercow a playable character in Smash Bros”. John Bercow, speaker of the House of Commons, is a charismatic man who you could see quite easily filling a role in the game, and is one I could get behind. But I think there are better options.
So, let’s look at the possibilities.
Drake is one of if not the biggest artist in the world right now, racking up millions of plays everyday and a rabid fanbase. What better way to celebrate his accomplishments by having him dance his way around the Smash stages, milly rocking his enemies into oblivion.
I’d like to see it.
After years of giving their all for Super Smash Bros. and being the best of the best, it’s about time Nintendo pays players like Juan “Hungrybox” Debiedma, Joseph “Mango” Marquez, Adam “Armada” Lindgren, Jason “Mew2King” Zimmerman and Kevin “PPMD” Nanney their dues.
You could even have Hungrybox throwing crabs at his opponents.
For the simple reason that most of us would love to slap him around on the Final Destination stage.
Alternatively, you could use him to slap around a bunch of cartoons which, ultimately, wouldn’t be the weirdest thing Trump has done during his presidency.
Jason Momoa is a Norse god sent to present day to be a manly man and make everyone else look pathetic. And he exceeds expectations constantly.
The best part about having Momoa as a playable character is that the possibilities are endless in terms of what he could be doing. He could throw axes as his primary form of attack, or whack people with bats. Or just swoon them into submission. I don’t know, but I do know it would work.
Ronda Rousey is a superstar in the fighting world, once upon a time dominating the UFC and now plying her trade in the world of sports entertainment with the WWE.
Naturally, she would be a perfect fit for a Smash game, having already lived out her days as a fighter in the real world. As a character of pure aggression, she’d be a brawler like no other.
Who have we missed from this list? Who in real life do you think would be fantastic to play as in Smash Ultimate? Let us know!