Norland Review: An Unhinged but Hilarious Colony Sim

Norland is a big step for Colony Sims. All that chaos, unpredictability, and whimsy is present - but it’s all tied into something bigger. A simulated kingdom with rulers vying for power and upsetting the balance. It’s Rimworld meets Crusader Kings.

Now, when I first heard that comparison I thought it a match made in heaven - and after getting stuck into the game for a few dozen hours courtesy of Hooded Horse I can comfortably say - this game does exactly what it says on the tin, and it is so much fun. 

It doesn’t go into as much depth as either parent - but it ties the two premises together into something that is deeply entertaining. This isn’t just another colony sim with a fancy coat of paint - it brings so much with it. Raising armies and going to war. Schmoozing local kings and forging alliances. Dealing with rebellions and religious uprisings. Tons & tons of murder.

Most importantly, it has something that I think is crucial to this sort of game. It’s batshit. There’s a good amount that you have control over, but ultimately you’re sitting there hoping your lords follow through with their duties. They might just turn around, say ‘sod it’ - and go copulate with the local miller. 

As you might be able to tell, I had so much fun with this, and if you’re a fan of Rimworld, Crusader Kings, and Colony Sims in general - I think you will too.

Oh Lordy

It takes a lot to make a village run, dozens of serfs, days and days of backbreaking labour, a lifetime of sacrifice and toil. Thankfully, you won’t be doing any of that. You only have a few characters to worry about - your lords. They’ll issue orders to the common folk and keep things ticking.

This creates a nice balance. You feel like you’re managing a hustling bustling town, but you’re not having to worry about what dozens of different peasants are doing at any given time. But that’s not to say it can’t go wrong. If your lords aren’t happy, they will shirk their duties. They won’t give their orders to the workers, and everything will grind to a halt. 

Each character has different needs. The obvious stuff, like food, rest, alcohol, but also some more abstract desires. They want social interaction. They like to pray and find inner peace. Sometimes they just need a simple…uh…'release', if you catch my drift.

You can give each of your lords a chore list, but there’s a degree of autonomy. They’ll mostly take care of themselves, and there isn’t a huge amount of micromanagement - which I know will be a big plus for some of you. 

Characters also have different skills. Some are best suited to diplomatic missions, others get the best deals when trading, some are simply well-versed in the art of murder. The more a lord does a task, the better they get at it. So they're always growing, becoming more competent, but as they recognise their own worth - their demands get bigger. It’s up to the king - your most important character - to maintain the balance, and reward those who deserve it.

Keep your lords happy, and their loyalty will go up. They’ll follow out orders and keep the population in check. Too much discontent and they’ll shirk their duties, and the serfs might turn to a life of crime. This too can quickly derail a town. So, either you make sure everyone is happy - or you detach a few heads to keep everyone in check. Your choice. 

It's the Economy, Stupid

One particularly impressive part of the game is its economy. It’s broken down into two parts - the micro - your town and its inhabitants, and the macro - the world at large. Let’s start small. Your villagers expect a wage after each day's work. You decide how much it is. They want to spend that money on food and alcohol. You also decide the price of those. Any savings they have, they might spend on better food or tastier beer or just throw it away at the tavern on a gambling spree. 

You’re paying gold from your treasury each day, but with smart management, you’re making it back. If you’re producing the food and booze yourself, that money comes right back to you. It’s a closed economy that you can tinker with and keep the money in constant circulation. 

There’s also a much bigger side of it. The world at large. You can trade with neighbours if they like you enough, and this means gold is flowing between provinces. Then there’s the church, the world’s mediator. They’ll come in the evenings and trade all sorts of goods. Be that luxury items, weapons, books to unlock new skills and buildings - or prisoners. Now, I’m sure a lot of you will go into this and not want to use forced labour, but if you’ve come here from Rimworld, I’m just going to assume that you’ll be okay with it. 

What’s going on in the world affects the price of things. If you offload a few tons of wood, there’s less demand, the price drops. If there’s a war affecting a big supplier of iron - the price will rocket. There’s a way to play the market, by bringing trader goods into your closed town economy and charging more for them, or trading with a neighbour and selling them for a profit. You can write books in the library and export them, or take prisoners of war and sell them off. There’s a whole bunch of ways to approach the game’s economy. It was simple enough at first glance to not feel overwhelming, but the more you look at it, the more you see there’s layers there that really drive the game forward. 

The World Stage

At the end of the day, gold is what drives Norland, and the more of it you have - the more you can influence the world stage. A bigger army, a stronger economy, a greater technological advantage - all will set you up to be a powerful force in the game world. This is where the Crusader Kings side of things comes into play. 

Every province has a town, a ruling family, and a culture which is predisposed to like or dislike other people. Ultimately, you want to control the world. Whether that’s by force - or through diplomacy. Creating an alliance of city states that stand together. 

Each of your lords can be sent on diplomatic missions to strengthen ties and increase the likelihood of trade deals and other gubbins. You can organise marriages between families, and other rulers will visit your kingdom. Provide for them and show them a good time, and they’ll be more inclined to lend assistance.

That’s the peaceful route. I know that’s not for everybody. Don’t worry, there’s a lot of sordid cloak-and-dagger stuff you can do too. Heist treasuries, kidnap and ransom children, strongarm rulers into becoming your puppet. You can send your armies to ransack their villages and enslave their populace.

Whether you’re the one committing these atrocities, or on the receiving end of it - one thing about Norland is clear. Conflict is unavoidable. At some point you’re going to butt heads with a neighbour, and that can only be settled on the battlefield. 

War, Huh, What Is It Good for?

War is a big part of the game, and if you aren’t actively building up and strengthening your army, it’s a very easy way to fall behind. Granted, there is a peaceful mode if you don’t want any of that, but I like a good battle here and there. And Norland doesn’t disappoint.

One of the game’s big balancing acts is making sure your army is sufficient. You’ve got plenty of peasants - but truth be told - they won’t be much use in a fight. But you’ve got options. You can have soldiers rise up from the workforce, train them, equip them and send them off to battle. Or you can raid bandit camps, capture vagabonds and offer them a spot in your army. You can attack other towns, take prisoners and turn them into soldiers, or simply buy them from the church. Freedom with a slight chance of dying in battle isn’t the worst offer they’ll get. 

Alternatively, you can hire mercenaries to bolster your ranks, or if you’ve a particularly religious following in your town, a few serfs here and there will be all too happy to join the ranks of the army to wail on some heathens. But having numbers is just the first step. They need a training routine, weapons, armour, perks. Soldiers need to feel like their life in the barracks is better than their life on the farm. They have needs, morale. They can suffer injuries which - if untreated - can and will kill them. 

And most importantly, they need a leader. One of your lords. A good commander is the difference between a crushing victory, and everyone running away like cowardly school children. 

So there’s a lot to keep in mind once you start on the path of the sword, but there’s some big payoffs. Obviously the land, riches, glory - that’s all great. Most importantly, you’re creating the start of an empire, which will give you a fighting chance in the world - and a chance at survival against the unholy horde creeping across the land and destroying all in their path. 

Forgive Me Father, For I Have Simmed

Before I wrap everything up and give my verdict on the game - there’s one other big pillar in Norland, and something that really tied everything together, which is Religion.

The church is the mediator in all the chaos. They’ll intervene when things get out of hand, and send a bishop to your town to keep an eye on you. They control the caravans, the world’s luxuries, the whole lot.

Your citizens want something bigger to believe in, and if the bishop can provide hope, they’ll pitch their lot with him. If you’re not in his good graces, he might just band his loyal followers together and overthrow you. So, it’s important to keep a healthy relationship with the church going - or alternatively, kill the bishop. Which was my tactic. Still waiting for that to blow up in my face. 

Now, you don’t have to bootlick if you don’t want to. You can build a temple and preach defiance, distancing them from the church. If you’re confident you can fend off the inquisition, you can start throwing your weight around and attacking your neighbours. Get enough provinces under your control and you can shrug off those sanctions.

In a world of balancing acts, the church is at the centre. For every action that’s an opposite reaction. It’s an interesting dynamic that keeps you thinking not just about the immediate repercussions of your actions, but thinking ‘if I attack my neighbour, will I get sanctioned?’. Having a world power you can’t directly interact with keeps things ticking, and I like that a lot. 

With religion in the mix, there’s a lot for you to keep track off - and chances are - you'll probably misstep and doom your whole town. At this point, you pick yourself up, dust off, and try again, but with a different strategy. It’s fun to fail, and Norland had me jumping back in time after time, eager to try again. 

To put it plainly, this is just a well-thought-out game. It takes very different inspirations, and mashes them together. Now, usually with that sort of combo you get areas where the two sides just don’t mesh, but developers Long Jaunt have really looked to build something interesting in such places, making a game that feels familiar, but also unique and exciting and most importantly - fun. 

Now it doesn’t have the depth of either side. Rimworld is unparalleled, and frankly, no game is going to come along and provide more than it. But this doesn't try to. The scope is more limited - but also different. You won’t play this the same way. It’s not an evolutionary step that will invalidate anything - rather - provide something the genre doesn’t have. 

I can see myself playing this a lot. It’s got a lot to it that you just don’t see in typical colony sims, but there’s something much simpler I like. It feels well put together. I love the graphics, the sound design means your town feels alive and there’s always something going on. It’s got charm seeping out of any orifice - sorry for that image - and as I said right at the start - it’s also just insane. You can just sit and people watch and have a big dumb smile on your face as everything goes horribly wrong.

Early Access, Warts and All

Of course there are areas that I’d like to see improvement in. Combat could definitely use a bit more nuance, and it seems battles always take place on a field somewhere. I’d love to lay siege to other nation’s capitals - or fend off attacks on my own. 

The UI was super clean and it has my favourite thing in the whole world - nested tooltips - but there was some peculiar scaling here and there and text not fitting in boxes. Granted, I play on a weird resolution, but these little issues here and there did bug me. 

But then again - it’s early access. Yes, I know many of you hate to hear those words - but it means those little issues should all be cleared up - as well as more content added down the line. As it stands though, this is a great package and a really engaging foundation. There’s plenty to get stuck into straight off the bat, I will absolutely keep on playing it. When they add more stuff later, that’ll be great - but as of right now I don’t think you’ll be feeling too much of an early access sting with this.

All in all, Norland is in great shape, it knows what it is, and it is engaging and fun and interesting. Hold off for a while until it gets that extra polish and content if you want - but if you jump in now, there’s plenty to keep you going. 

So yeah, lets not beat around the bush - I really like Norland. It’s the first colony sim I’ve played in years that really had me excited to discover and experiment - rather than feeling like I already know the drill and what to do.