Fall Guys’ Community Manager shares the lamest excuses from sorry cheaters

Those who play Fall Guys on PC will know that the game’s current approach to tackling cheaters is yet to be perfected.

(Picture: Mediatonic)

Although Mediatonic is banning hundreds of cheaters each day, until the company is able to implement their upcoming anti-cheat upgrade, there will always be those able to break the rules.

A lot of you are asking to see the emails we're getting from banned players.

I won't share those, but here are the types of cheater...

"It wasn't me"

- It was my roommate or younger sibling.
- It was never an older sibling.
- I personally hate cheating in online games.

— Oliver Age 24 | Fall Guys Community Manager 👌 (@OliverAge24) September 10, 2020

In a series of posts on his personal account, Fall Guys’ Senior Community Manager Oliver Hindle (A.K.A Oliver Age 24) shared some of the classic excuses that players were using to protest their bans. According to the Mediatonic employee, the excuses are broken into the following categories:

"I only cheat in other games"

- I just happened to have cheat software open whilst playing Fall Guys
- It wasn't for Fall Guys though
- It was just for another game
- I would never use it on Fall Guys

— Oliver Age 24 | Fall Guys Community Manager 👌 (@OliverAge24) September 10, 2020

"I didn't think it would work"

- I didn't think it would be possible
- I was only trying it once
- I didn't even win

— Oliver Age 24 | Fall Guys Community Manager 👌 (@OliverAge24) September 10, 2020

"I DIDN'T CHEAT"

- I refuse to admit it
- Now that I think about it, there was some unusual activity on my computer that might explain it
- The unusual activity never explains it lol

— Oliver Age 24 | Fall Guys Community Manager 👌 (@OliverAge24) September 10, 2020

"I can barely even use my computer"

- How does cheating even work?
- What does a cheat even look like?
- I can barely even write emails
- How do I turn my computer on?

— Oliver Age 24 | Fall Guys Community Manager 👌 (@OliverAge24) September 10, 2020

"I was trying to help you"

- I was cheating to see what was possible so that I could help you fix it
- It was just research
- I'm doing you a favour

— Oliver Age 24 | Fall Guys Community Manager 👌 (@OliverAge24) September 10, 2020

"I didn't read the EULA"

- I didn't know it wasn't allowed
- Give me one more chance, I'll never cheat again
- How could I have known???

— Oliver Age 24 | Fall Guys Community Manager 👌 (@OliverAge24) September 10, 2020

"Everyone else was cheating"

- If you can't beat them, join them
- The game was ruined for me, now I will ruin it for everyone else
- I'm not like the other cheaters
- Cheaters made me this way
- We live in a society

— Oliver Age 24 | Fall Guys Community Manager 👌 (@OliverAge24) September 10, 2020

In a game of "pick your favourite excuses", we’d say that they’re all losers. From claims that they didn’t know cheating wasn’t allowed to protesting that they were simply trying to help fix the exploit, it seems that those emailing Mediatonic are attempting every trick in the book.

One common method of cheating appears to be using third-party software to increase the speed of your jelly bean, as well as letting Fall Guys fly in the air indefinitely. It’s easy to spot in-game, but seemingly more difficult to ban. 

• Read more: Fall Guys' Community Manager gets his first win since the game released

Thankfully, Fall Guys will soon be getting a powerful new anti-cheat, used by major titles such as Fortnite, which is certain to combat the issue. We can only imagine that the number of emails the complaint department gets will only increase as more sore losers start to get banned for their actions.